06 March 2008

A Screwdriver Nightmare

I had a vile dream last night. I dreamed of taking a rusty screwdriver, inserting it inside my urethra (yes, of all things, my urethra), drilling it deeper and deeper until blood gushed out of my penis like a B-movie special effect, painting my room Caronia red.

That horror show could only mean one thing: I should immediately get rid of the screwdrivers given to me by Mrs. Neri last Christmas before a sadistic spirit possesses me and causes me to commit acts of self-mutilation.

Thus before this day ends, I’m going to leave those tools under one of the stone benches at Salcedo park. May some intrepid soul find them, bring them home, and use them exclusively for their intended purpose.

And may I never dream about a screwdriver ever again.

9 comments:

the nomad said...

maybe it's a subliminal message from your Id. "you're getting too stressed from work, m'dear. Throw away some of those briefs. Legal briefs, I mean."

I have better uses for a screwdriver so finders, keepers, okay? =)

kalansaycollector said...

oh nakakatakot nga.

naku mag stresstabs. baka stress lang iyan. ;p

Anonymous said...

I'll pass by Salcedo Park later and get those screwdrivers! Love your blog.

coldman said...

ang sakit naman nun! mas matindi pa yun sa catheter. =)

Kiks Phulumulu said...

i imagined Sesame Street or Batibot getting all bloody all over with the 4 dancers of caronia dancing and then Pepe Pimentel would come out with boxes of screwdrivers for everyone...

So Channel 9.

Lance C. said...

ouch! :D

omg, i better get rid of my screwdriver set sitting on my bedside table (i don't even know why it's there), baka kumalat ang curse of the screwdriver. :D

as always, great post. :)

MISTERHUBS said...

@ the nomad: Yeah. I need a big, long, juicy, pink vacation. Unfortunately, I might have to do some work in the coming holy week.

Hope you find those screwdrivers.

@ kalansaycollector: Kulang ata stresstabs.

@ anonymous: Thanks.

@ kiks phulumulu: Sigh. I miss those old channel 9 shows.

@ lance c: Keep those screwdrivers far away from you if you know what's good for you. :-)

chase / chubz said...

anubayun! wat a gory dream

ming meows said...

Interpretation: It's either
A. You would like to have a nicer-looking penis.
B. You would want to undergo sex change. Yikes!

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