17 October 2016

Most Romantic

This love story begins with indigestion ~ Hubby's, that is. Something in the miso soup he ordered caused him gastric turbulence, thereby cutting short what was supposed to be a romantic night out. Regretting my restaurant choice, we repaired back to my place where Hubby sequestered himself in my tiny bathroom while I watched cable TV.

That reality dating show, The Bachelor, was on. Prince Charming and his wannabe Cinderella, a generic blond whose two favorite words were “connection” and “chemistry,” were riding a horse-drawn carriage through the cobbled streets of Rome, passing by the Piazza di Spagna along the way. Their rendezvous continued with a candlelit dinner at a balcony overlooking The Vatican and a DSLR moment before the idyllic Fontana di Trevi where they sealed their newfound amore with a make-out session to end all make-out sessions. Alone, Generic Blond Girl frothed to the camera that “this has got to be, like, the most romantic night... everrr.”

That was when my Nokia vibrated on the tabletop. 1 new message, it said.

From: Adorable Hubs
COME HERE I NID U

The urgency was unmistakable. I got off the couch, stat, and ran. With one ear stethoscoped on the closed bathroom door, I asked Hubby if everything's OK. He told me to come in. “You sure?” Affirmative.

I entered, knowing that, in doing so, I'd be crossing a line of intimacy I never imagined crossing, certainly not during our starry-eyed courtship phase. Inside, I saw Hubby seated in an orthodox manner (as opposed to a weight lifter's squat) on the toilet, his lower garments bunched around his ankles, his profile scrunched up in obvious discomfort.

“Hubby, you OK?” Our eyes met and I could tell that he was on the verge of crying.

“Sorry you had to see me like this but I need you to be here,” he said.

“It's OK, it's OK.”

“Please hold my hand.”

His palm was cold and sweaty and I held it as I would a small, wounded bird. I wanted to say something, words that would allay the pain, but my speech failed me and all I could do was to stand there and look and wonder what the hell's going on.

Truth be told, the ick factor wasn't lost on me. After all, here's a guy audibly defecating in my presence. Standing there, listening to the liquids sloshing inside the bowl, I couldn't help but envision foamy corn bits and fibrous strings swirling around a rust-colored soup.

But looking at Hubby, whose damp and fatigued face has seen better moments, I knew as surely as I know my name that I could never love anyone more than him. For he is my partner, my best friend, my Hubster Bunny, the only life force in the universe who understands and speaks my secret language, and in this cramped, odorous, linoleum-tiled space, where cockroaches hold parties when the light's turned off, Hubby, at his most vulnerable, needed me to just be by his side.

***



Happy third anniversary to us, my Adorable Hubby! Ayravyuberimats!!

[Illustration by loud cloud]

55 comments:

Toilet Thoughts said...

Wow! I knew lovestories are best told in the toilet.

Happy Aniversary!

-- From all the toilets in the world...

E said...

Wow...Love over comes toilet stench..Sweet Mr.Hubs and hubby of Misterhubs! HAPPY 3rd YEAR TO BOTH OF YOU!!! You guys have been through alot and I'm sure that things will only get better :-)

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!! More power to both you and take care ok?

rOckY said...

Happy Anniversary you two!

Anonymous said...

Yes, that's really one of true love's test... i got hospitalized once (pregnancy-related) and was on a strict bedrest... i had to depend on my hubby to help me with the bed pan. I thought he'd be icky about it but he was sincerely helpful.. this, after 9 years of marriage, just made me confirm that he really is the person who will live with me until we're old and gray..

Happy Anniversary!

the geek said...

that's a very classic story of "for better or for worse"...i love it so much it made me cry....

happy anniversary!!!


-the geek

Dexter's Faggotory said...

Happy 3rd misterhubs & misterhubby!

Cheers!

Z said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSAY TO YOU, MISTERHUBS AND TO YOUR HUBBY. THANKS FOR THE GREETING ON MY BIRTHDAY... CHEERS!!!!

ultimatekyle said...

Ur love is unparalleled by others of its kind. HAPPEE 3rd YEAR ANNIV!!!!! All the best ",)

Anonymous said...

Most Romantic by MrHubs ........ the continuation of the book of Gabriel Garcia Marquez entitled Love In The Time Of Cholera :-)

Happy Anniversary!!!!

Arbee

Misterhubs said...

@ Toilet Thoughts: I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks! :-)

@ E: Thanks! More power to you too buddy.

@ rOcky: Dankshe!

@ Anonymous: 9 years, wow! Merci!

@ geek: "To have and to hold" too. Gracias!

@ Dexter's Faggotry: Obrigado!

@ Z: You're welcome. Arigato!

@ Ultimatekyle: Xie xie!

@ Arbee: I knew someone would mention "Love In The Time of Cholera." Salamat doc!

Mugen said...

Happy Anniversary to the two of you Misterhubs.

joaqui_miguel said...

Happy Anniversary!!! More to come, I bet. :)

Mrs. G said...

Sniff... Happy Anniversary.

datu/the wilted prune said...

*hurrkkkhh*... :)




(that's *aww* in a gas mask)

loudcloud said...

i knew the corn bits are gonna creep into this post. hahaha.

should have done the e-card using corn kernels instead of shuttlecocks! LOL. i miscalculated because i read somewhere before that your very first meeting with hubster bunnikinsky is at a badminton game.

anyway, three years!

what a feat, considering most relationships have the same lifespan as a thunderbolt.

best and fond wishes on your third anniversary! here's to counting for more to come!

Anonymous said...

The 2 of you are very very blessed. Take it from a man who has undergone an annulment and is currently undergoing his 2nd annulment.

Cheers!

P.S. I haven't lost hope. You know what they say -- 3rd time's a charm.

Tristan Tan said...

happy anniversary! ;)

~*~rubypurple~*~ said...

おめでっとう ございます!Happy anniversary to the both of you! You're lucky you found each other. :)

Enjoy the rest of your night! :)

gibo said...

sa hirap at ginhawa talaga! happy anniversary sa inyo misterhubs, may you have more happy years together (outside the toilet, that is)

Qtheconqueror said...

I shall never look at miso soup the same way ever again. Now, don't make love at the lavatory, boys, thats what the bed is for :P

Happy anniv! :P

migs, the manila gay guy said...

Wooow! Congrats!

mick said...

wow! 3 years! congrats misterhubs! ^_^
my eternal dream is having a relationship like yours.
have a great life misterhubs and hubby! i wish both of you well!

blow_up said...

what an anniversary! happy turd, oops, happy third anniv pala.
amazing how you love him even more now that you've experienced the gamut of his making ire(i-reh) from lovemaking ecstasy to his i-reh of the excretory.
potent stuff you have here, hubs.
might there be an indie film here ? :)

Mikkoi said...

Happy Third! That toilet moment was so sweet, sans the icky part. Hehehehe!
It just shows how comfortable you are already with each other (despite the discomfort that he was feeling).
Wishing you both more years together.

Looking For The Source said...

sweet. very sweet. not the toilet scene bur the last few words.

happy anniversary to both of you!

ArchieMD said...

Not even a loading dose of Ciprofloxacin and a stat dose of Buscopan could dampen the colicky and crampy sweetness of this moment.

Congratulations!

briggs said...

i'm happy for you. Just keep the love burning!

Kiks said...

that was the sweetest thing.... ever!

Misterhubs said...

@ mugen, joaqui miguel, mrs g, datu, gibo, tristan tan, ruby purple, mgg, looking for the source, mick, mikkoi, briggs, kiks: Merci beaucoup!

@ loud cloud: Thanks! I wrote the corn bits with you in mind. Hehe. Thanks again for the drawing! Hubby likes it a lot!

@ anonymous: That's the spirit! Hope springs eternal. Thanks!

@ q the conqueror: We'll take that advise. Hehe. :-)

@ ArchieMD: Thanks doc! So many medical terms. Hehe.

jericho said...

wow. happy anniversary hubs. you did cross a line. and thoroughly enjoyed it? hehe

itsonsms said...

Wow! The things you do for love nga naman.

Happy happy third! That's really a milestone considering what usually happens to unconventional relationships.
The best is yet to come for you two! :)

If you don't mind here's mine:

My ex and I had a fight. He drank a bottle of chivas straight up and yes. Got intoxicated.

I asked him why he did that.

He said it was because "I was mad at him".

That little f*cker! Haha.

Well. I never recalled ordering him to turn his liver into pate' de foie gras.

He started puking all over the place and lost consciousness.

He was a big guy, We we're of the same height but he's really muscled up. Heavy heavy!

I had to clean him up. Wipe the puke of the couch, floor, him and etc. With my BARE hands and MY hanky.

Bathed him, clothed him and carried him to the bed. I was moving, lifting and manipulating a 180pound person!
(I even applied baby powder! Hahaha!)

I showered, changed clothes and sat on the carpet to be near his face. I held his hand and stroked his hair while he slept..

I didn't sleep until he woke up...

IMAGINE THIS:
HIS PUKE WAS LIKE 2 FRIGGING LITERS OF SINIGANG NA BABOY SA SAMPALOK (EXTRA SAMPALOK PLEASE) AND MISO (MORE GRAINY) WITH RICE (MOLDY AND STICKY) AND SCOTCH (A KEG)... ADD ALL THE ODORS OF THE ITEMS MENTIONED THEN ADD THE NORMAL VOMIT SMELL AND SOME BROWN SOUPY STUFF.

itsonsms said...

Wow! The things you do for love nga naman.

Happy happy third! That's really a milestone considering what usually happens to unconventional relationships.
The best is yet to come for you two! :)

If you don't mind here's mine:

My ex and I had a fight. He drank a bottle of chivas straight up and yes. Got intoxicated.

I asked him why he did that.

He said it was because "I was mad at him".

That little f*cker! Haha.

Well. I never recalled ordering him to turn his liver into pate' de foie gras.

He started puking all over the place and lost consciousness.

He was a big guy, We we're of the same height but he's really muscled up. Heavy heavy!

I had to clean him up. Wipe the puke of the couch, floor, him and etc. With my BARE hands and MY hanky.

Bathed him, clothed him and carried him to the bed. I was moving, lifting and manipulating a 180pound person!
(I even applied baby powder! Hahaha!)

I showered, changed clothes and sat on the carpet to be near his face. I held his hand and stroked his hair while he slept..

I didn't sleep until he woke up...

IMAGINE THIS:
HIS PUKE WAS LIKE 2 FRIGGING LITERS OF SINIGANG NA BABOY SA SAMPALOK (EXTRA SAMPALOK PLEASE) AND MISO (MORE GRAINY) WITH RICE (MOLDY AND STICKY) AND SCOTCH (A KEG)... ADD ALL THE ODORS OF THE ITEMS MENTIONED THEN ADD THE NORMAL VOMIT SMELL AND SOME BROWN SOUPY STUFF.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh how sweet!!!! How true, its when they see and accept us at our lowest point that we know they love us! Stay happy.

jaybeecc said...

Happy anniversary to you two! :)

Brian said...

So sweet. Happy Anniversary Hubs.

joelmcvie said...

After reading this post, let me wish you and Hubby all the best.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just go and slit my throat, and no one will clean up the mess.

*slash, thud! drip, drip, drip...*

(At least walang ikky corn bits!)

Enrico Nicolas said...

this is "like...the most romantic story..everrr..."

happy 3 years!

on to 3, 30 or even 300 more!

Aris said...

hello misterhubs. this is so romantic. this is real love. inggit ako. (sigh!)

happy anniversary to you, guys! :)

Shan Abellaneda said...

i think once uve seen, heard and smelled ur partner's crap, that is true love. one time, at a 5-star hotel in boracay, our toilet clogged and all of our shit overflowed on the toilet floor. my partner cleaned it because he was embarrased to have the housekeeping see our shit.and thats why i love him, not because he cleaned our crap but because he endured the stench and braved our shit :-)

Misterhubs said...

@ jericho, jaybeecc, brian, aris: Muchos Gracias :-)

@ itsonsms: Aaww, now that's true love.

@ joel mcvie: No, Joel! No!!! Noooo!
:-)

@ enrico nicolas: Thanks... ever!

@ shan abellanda: Sweet. :-)

balotboi said...

jelly tuloy ako...sweet niyo naman misterhubz...sana ako din meron....aheemm


Happy Anniversary!

freshmess said...

Happy 3rd! :) True love knows no smell talaga.

f i l l i b u s t e r o said...

holding-hands pa talaga?!?
feeling ko i'm reading something about someone giving birth for the first time.
i love you man. and hubby.
happy 3rd anniversary!

yffar said...

Proposed Names:
A. Pink Bloggers Community
B. The Pink Chronicles
C. Rainbow Blogs Philippines
D. Other suggested names that may arise

Goal:
To create a united community of Filipino LGBT Bloggers, that may act as an organization for aspiring LGBT writers and hone their skills by guiding , recognizing their works, and inspiring them to pursue an inner motivation for blogging whether it’s personal, informative or other reasons why they created their blog.

Functions:
a. Making a LGBT Bloggers Directory
b. Providing Weekly Reviews
c. Creating a weekly/ Monthly Award
d. Organizing a Monthly/Weekly chat conference
e. Gathering in an Annual/ Quarterly Eyeball
f. Participating in LGBT Advocacies

Proposed Committees:
a. Marketing and Networking. A separate committee shall search for potential blogs that can join the community and communicate with possible allies such as organizations, publications, etc. that may help in pursuing the goals of the said community.

b. Membership. A committee shall handle possible members of the community and review the contents of the blog whether it is related to the LGBT category or not. Upon approval of the committee, the blog shall now be placed in the Directory.

c. Reviews. A committee will have to conduct weekly reviews on a certain blog about the good features of the blog. Negative feedbacks to improve the blog shall not be posted on the review, it will be discussed in a private manner such as a personal mail to the author by the reviewer. The committee must ensure that all blogs shall be given a review. A member of the committee shall not create a review of his own blog.
d. Events. The committee shall create monthly events that will focus on the interactions between memb ers of the community. Such activities may be held online, via chat/conference, or in a general assembly/ eyeball gathering.

e. Awards. This committee shall conduct a surveys/poll sor other contest s that may recognize the LGBT blogger and his site, e.g. Pink Blog of the Week, or annual LGBT Blog Awards. The committee must have no bias in giving out awards.

f. Web Masters. This committee shall be composed of the committee heads of each team that may discuss on the overall design of the website, input necessary information, create posts, and act as the executive heads of the said community.

g. Other committees shall be created and some proposed above may be dissolved depending on the actual need of the community.

Provisions
a. As a part of the LGBT community, ethical principles must be upheld and violators of the community rules shall cause a member’s blog be out of the directory and he/she will be removed as a member of the said community. Possible violations: Plagiarism, Libel, etc.
b. It will be the discretion of the committee heads if they will include a blog that contains pornography or simple nudity. Proper judgment shall be applied.
c. Other provisions that might arise shall be discussed upon the completion of the said community.

Bloggers that agreed on the creation of the community:
a. Kiks of ABBA
b. Lyka Bergen of The Lyka Bergen Show
c. Mrs J of The Reigning Mizis
d. Jericho of Kape’t Yosi
e. Wilberchie of Wilberchie’s World
f. Yffar of The Rainbow Halohalo Project
g. other bloggers are all welcome to help in building this new community.

comment @ http://rainbowhalohalo.blogspot.com/2008/09/pink-bloggers-community.html

MANDAYA MOORE: Ang bayot sa bukid said...

huli man ako sa pagbati, bumati pa rin. hehe

YAJNAT said...

between toilets and gases...this is more than chemistry...
one to remember...happy 3rd anniversary!!!

Anonymous said...

cute.. holding hands...

Anonymous said...

Huhuhuhu.......I'm jelly

jaybeecc said...

yeah kakainggit, konti lang ang may 3 years+ relationship. parang gold medal sa olympics, konti lang meron hehehe

btw, i get interested with the books you say are fun to read; bought Gods Behaving Badly yesterday; still looking for Rosen's IJWMPB

thanks!

Fran said...

haaaaay! it's like an episode from a hit u.s. dramedy! i look up to you guys and try to follow your path especially now that i'm into a relationship!

crispulo said...

misterhubs you made my day :D

jerkysans said...

wow, congratz to you two. there are only a few rels that last that long these days...

Steffi said...

YAY! Happy three years. *hugs*

From someone whose longest relationship lasted for 9 months, 3 years seems like forever. And I'm happy for you and hubby. :)

attyarj said...

I'm not sure who's more in love the one who's brave enough to show his crap or the one who willingly and wittingly endured it =)

CheezeCurlz said...

Hillariously sweet.. =D I had Last Laugh Syndrome! LOL!

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