tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5959596944279292272012-01-17T11:49:31.804+08:00Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.comBlogger2291100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-17639492091441314842011-06-22T10:00:00.000+08:002011-06-22T10:20:23.067+08:00

Essays + Illustrationsby Misterhubs

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-15513610786154575182011-04-06T15:39:00.004+08:002011-04-06T15:54:15.844+08:00

Pearls of wisdom from my eternal muse.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-84121367258912620542009-12-25T12:00:00.003+08:002009-12-25T12:47:03.224+08:00

♬♫ Oh... you...Better watch out!You better not cry.You better not pout. I'm telling you why...Santa Claus Mystica is coming to town!♬ She's making a list.And checking it twice.She's gonna find out who's...naughty and...nice...Mystica is coming to town!♬ She sees you when you're sleeping.She knows when you're awake.She knows if you've been...... bad or...... good ...... so be good for goodness'

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-14997410831975146862009-11-25T18:42:00.004+08:002009-11-25T18:50:42.680+08:00

Unofficial mash-up of Jon McLaughlin's Smack Into You & Beyonce's Smash Into You. (This one's for you.)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-44317281405704148842009-10-21T10:19:00.002+08:002009-10-25T22:48:00.506+08:00

We were two gladiators locked in a fierce battle. “OK, your turn,” Dickie said after inflicting minor injury to my ear. Finding inspiration from Braveheart (“… they may take our lives but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!”) I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and, in a high-pitched falsetto commonly associated with Chinese opera, warbled:“Oh naaayt… Deee-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYN!”Despite all the

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-71744672708160426692009-10-07T16:34:00.008+08:002010-08-06T17:01:53.441+08:00

The sadistic retreat master knew precisely which button to push to make Class 6-A bawl like newborns. Edwin, the class jock, was the first to cry in the hot seat, prompting Julie to whisper “he’s so cute” to Mary. After him was Alex, the resident bully. He too ended up as a sobbing, hiccuping mess, much to the schadenfreude of Erwin, whose WWF magazines Alex had snitched. Even Ray, our “special”

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-6295301769713717932009-04-16T00:49:00.011+08:002009-04-16T15:06:05.553+08:00

Unlike past Holy Weeks where I bled my eyes watching re-runs of 7th Heaven or ocularly molested beach bodies while innocently sipping a parasoled fruit shake in Boracay, I visited my geographical birthplace (as opposed to my literal birthplace, mom’s Fallopian tube), which, for the benefit of those who don’t have classified access to my personal records, is Davao, the land of Durian,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-53000787666390636452009-04-07T00:59:00.005+08:002009-04-07T23:37:33.481+08:00

“And now, let’s do Dhanurasana… the bow pose,” Ray, our yogini, intoned after we’ve barely survived a series of unpronounceable asanas which had us twisting our sweat-drenched bodies around like roots of an old mangrove tree. Two or three people, most probably the beginners at the back row, emitted groans of protest across the room which, by now, was at a temperature that can cause desert cacti

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-86285630048595614172009-03-07T09:08:00.003+08:002009-03-17T14:26:06.743+08:00

BB GandangHari, watch out. You're not the only sexually-ambiguous glamazon in town. Meet your newest competition, mister-sister...Barakong BeyoncéMaskuladong MudrabelleDivang Di-tiyakKolehiyalang KargadoraShondang SixpackDedeng WalangGatasEumorpho Lakas TarayJackie Lou FerrignoSusong SchwarzeneggerLolang The Hulk... and Mayuming Mamamatay-TaoHahahahaha! Is that so?Bring. It. Ohn.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-31119884445615948562009-02-14T08:12:00.028+08:002009-02-16T09:41:31.183+08:00

Dear Diary...Today's Valentine's day...And I feel kinda sad...Because Joe has left me...He left me for that skanky hoe...Even though I'm waaay prettier...Sexier...And more color-coordinated...But it's alright...There are many other guys out there...Older guys...Younger guys...... and confused guys.And I have many popular celebrity friends...Like the one and only Princess Revilla...Dan Alvaro...

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-45614846037062192692009-02-10T15:37:00.001+08:002009-02-10T15:46:10.511+08:00

First, it was a young and defenseless coconut tree.Now, this innocent stack of hardbounds.Maybe next time, if we're lucky, it'll be a nuclear warhead on its way to outer space?*crosses fingers*

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-61451789120783185792009-02-05T12:22:00.007+08:002009-02-05T17:57:18.050+08:00

This morning, I gave myself a stimulus package.I dropped my interest rates down to the floor and pumped my economy, pumped it really good. As a result, stocks surged to a record single-day high. Asian currencies, led by the Vietnam Dong, rose sharply against the US Dollar. And despite the massive inflation, job rates grew by an impressive 9 percent.(I exaggerate a bit; it grew by only 7 percent.)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-26767403282378569772008-12-18T23:40:00.006+08:002008-12-19T02:11:47.805+08:00

[While you patiently wait for this lazy and oft-distracted blogger to come up with new material, here's a re-edited oldie to tide you over. This post is dedicated to Dickie, my BFF and occasional human navigation device, who was there when it all happened.]"So how did you sprain your knee?" asked Jeff, my physical therapist, as his hirsute arms pulled and stretched my left leg like pizza dough. "

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-12828791762157530462008-11-19T19:23:00.033+08:002008-11-19T23:56:18.565+08:00

"Victor has a secret...A secret he'll reveal right now in Misterhubs..."Introducing..... Victor's Man Bra!For the gentleman with sagging moobs!It has underwire support...Stretch satin cups...And it even comes in pink!And now, let's hear it from our celebrity endorser..."Hi. I'm Boy Abunda, TV host...Recording Artist... and Sex kitten. (Purrr.)I used to feel so conscious of my hooters...They were

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-17923456897859157212008-11-13T16:11:00.001+08:002008-11-13T16:12:44.639+08:00

"It's Lock Jaw Girl, bitch.""Missed me, doncha?"Girl: "Umm, not really? Who are you?"Kenjie's penis: "Well, I missed ya!"Takeshi's penis: "Missed ya too!"Random dude's penis: "Me also!""Oh, you'll get some later boys...""But first, I'mma stretch my holes wide open.""Did I mention I like big red balls?""Just ask her BF! Hahahaha!""Ooops! I gots ta pee! Toodles!"

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-5773254881805114572008-09-30T12:04:00.003+08:002008-09-30T15:12:58.049+08:00

Guess whose rosy, succulent, bite-me-now nipple is this? Could it be Leandro Okabe's? Or Akihiro Sato's? Or perhaps David Beckham's, Jake Gyllenhall's, or Rafael Lazzini's?Click to find out whose cherry blossom is this...Boy Abunda.Suck my titties, y'all.My milk got no melamine.[Thanks to LoudCloud for the "inspiration."]

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-51104689847540720102008-09-10T10:48:00.004+08:002008-09-10T15:51:29.902+08:00

This love story begins with indigestion ~ Hubby's, that is. Something in the miso soup he ordered caused him gastric turbulence, thereby cutting short what was supposed to be a romantic night out. Regretting my restaurant choice, we repaired back to my place where Hubby sequestered himself in my tiny bathroom while I watched cable TV.That reality dating show, The Bachelor, was on. Prince Charming

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com55tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-39858906733042657922008-09-03T15:40:00.007+08:002008-09-03T23:23:14.492+08:00

We, the Hubbies, were ambling along Bonifacio High Street, chatting about such banalities as mutual funds, Project Runway, and anal bleaching when our curiosity was piqued by a small boutique hawking menswear of the Cantopop variety. Like moths to an LED light bulb, we wandered inside the shop whose papal-white walls provide a striking contrast to the hedonistic and variegated apparel on display

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-6485947577708817492008-08-07T12:37:00.004+08:002008-08-07T12:46:40.484+08:00

The song fueling my melancholy these stormy days...Dedicated to you, you know who you are.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-15704532878666015472008-08-03T00:59:00.003+08:002008-12-09T06:54:35.265+08:00

Due to my incurable bibliomania, I've amassed more books than I have time to read them; hence, the tower of unread paperbacks on my bedside table (see above picture). Lest city officials require me to get a building permit for this ever-rising structure, I've, after some vacillation, decided to take an indefinite respite from blogging and allot what little free time I have these days to

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-76770651768348188982008-07-28T10:56:00.007+08:002008-12-09T06:54:37.098+08:00

With barely any sleep or self-belief, I came to the Infinity Run in a death row mood, my brows knotted in an advanced Boy Scout loop. But miraculously my pre-race demeanor changed after seeing some superstuds in the assembly area, some of whom I’ve codenamed Wagyu Beef, Invitation to Fellatio, and God Isn’t Fair. Then there's my brief anal encounter with one scrumptious skinhead (Mr. Head, I

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-48640346249239466172008-07-22T01:33:00.001+08:002008-07-22T01:36:28.785+08:00

And now, brace yourself for The Total Mystica Experience...("Oh no!!!! Hold me mommy, I'm scared!!!!!" --- You, peeing in fear.)1. Mystica's MTV for "Labi sa Labi" ("Lips to Labia")(Best part of the video: the party balloons)2. Mystica's The Evolution of Dance(a.k.a. The Devolution of Her Mental Faculties.)3. Mystica, the thespian.(Hankies out, everyone. Tears will flow.)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-2243959447638503942008-07-19T00:48:00.002+08:002008-12-09T06:54:37.841+08:00

For the love of all that's good and holy in this world, do not view the picture below. I shall not be responsible for any long-term psychological damage it may will cause you."I can make bukaka. Hahahahaha!!!"--- MADLOCKTICA

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-78948323714583789092008-07-16T22:27:00.001+08:002008-12-09T06:54:41.066+08:00

"Dear Joe..."My name is Mystica...a simple girl from the barrio...with natural blue eyes...and natural blond hair.My friends say...I have a big heart...a big smile...and big shoes.I have many talents too.I can sing.I can dance.I can make bukaka.I also love dressing up.Here's me as Britney...Sailor Moon...Adolf Hitler...... and a tranny (I'm the one in the left.)I do hope...We can be pen pals

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com74tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-44069863314434331622008-07-15T08:36:00.002+08:002008-07-15T14:17:59.636+08:00

The time is five something in the morning. I should be in bed now, curled like a shrimp under a blue comforter, immersed in a Leandro Okabe dream, issuing soft snores unto the chilly darkness.But no, nah-uh. Here I am instead in Hubby’s SUV, barely awake, barely showered, barely in a good mood. We’re on our way to The Fort for the Mizuno Infinity Run. Or, as I like to call it, Where I’m About To

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-20854822634933864092008-07-12T01:15:00.002+08:002008-12-09T06:54:43.832+08:00

When posing for the camera, most people say "cheese." This girl, however, poses as if she's about to stuff her mouth with at least two penises. Horse penises, that is."Hey...""I can take two at a time...""Isn't that right, Kenji...?""... and Dwayne?""Bet you bitches can't do that...""Hahahahahaha....""Did a fly just enter my mouth?"Guy: "What the hell's wrong with you?Grandma just died!""Fine,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com89tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-81322679546109587242008-07-10T01:20:00.005+08:002008-07-10T09:47:10.090+08:00

We’ve been on the phone for almost three hours now when…“... Anyway, remember that time --- I think we were driving back to your house --- when I asked you why you love me and you said something like: 'I love you for no reason.' Exactly what did you mean by that? I know you’ve explained it before but I wanna hear it again ‘cause I wanna use it for my next post. If it’s okay with you, of course,”

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-20427587011299696782008-07-08T22:03:00.000+08:002008-07-08T22:04:32.131+08:00

Misterhubs, the blog! The only blog in the market that can tighten your abs! Grate carrots to tasty perfection! Seal leaky faucets instantly! And clinically proven to increase your penile circumference up to three inches! But don't take my word for it! Hear what other bloggers have to say about this amazing product --- yours for only $99.99!"I have found a killer funny blog (finally). Its so bang

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-89771127242452328912008-07-07T02:03:00.001+08:002008-07-07T02:09:56.010+08:00

You are a resident of a government hospital.One day, you ask one of your clerks, a timid girl named Mary, to get the prostatic discharge of an elderly patient, Lolo Jose, for gram staining. The procedure is quite simple: insert a finger inside the patient’s anus, locate the prostate, and massage it until fluid oozes from the penis.You ask Mary if she’s up to the task and she meekly says yes. So

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-72159976140823349562008-07-06T07:15:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:54:45.881+08:00

Struck by lightning.Aluminum Foil ManAutobot or Decepticon?At least she wore panties."Under the sea... Under the sea..."She's got Freddy Krueger hands.Baby, come to momma.Hello Earthling. I come in peace."At the Copa... Copa Cabana..."She's bringing acne back.The walking pubic hair.The look on her face says it all.All photos from clickthecity.com

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-64374575856586074042008-07-04T22:56:00.001+08:002008-07-04T22:58:22.058+08:00

A recent email which made me happier than Christmas:Hello Mr. Hubs,I don't usually do this... No, actually, this is the 1st time that I took the time and effort to email a blogger. I know you get a lot of fan mails but I'm crossing my fingers and toes that you could/would take time and really go through this msg. :-)I'm not a writer, never been and never will be (just check my spelling and

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-25655160030880280112008-07-03T22:18:00.000+08:002008-07-03T22:18:44.332+08:00

Ultimately, I agreed to join the ominously-named Mizuno Rush To Infinity Run (“How long before the finish line?” “Oh, just a few infinity meters”) because we hubbies rarely do sporting activities together. This, despite the fact that our relationship was founded three years ago on a badminton game. Long story short: a mutual friend, playing cupid, invited Hubby one night to box with us. But since

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-25801238348469258442008-07-01T17:44:00.003+08:002008-12-09T06:54:46.178+08:00

Mommy didn't buy me chocolates today...So I ate the next best thing.Yum!Photo from: Phenlicker

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-62041535511854710972008-06-30T20:30:00.001+08:002008-06-30T20:47:11.898+08:00

When Hubby asked, ever so casually, if I’d like to join him in an early morning, five kilometer “Mizuno Infinity Run”, my knee-jerk answer was an exaggerated and swooping “N-ooooooooo-oh,” which sounded like me saying “no” in super slow-motion.“But why not?” Hubby asked although, having walked with me countless times in malls with huge floor spaces, he already had an idea what I was about to say.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-5418061750783523282008-06-27T08:52:00.001+08:002008-12-09T06:54:47.158+08:00

"Ooh, man. You feel so tight.""Mom, Dad. Can I be a she-male?"With just a click of a dick."Hee-hee! Shamone! Wooo!"--- Michael Jackson to a young boy"Wait a minute, wait a minute...That is NOT a thermometer!"Photos from opsmonkey.com,Captions from Misterhubs' filthy mind.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-23330406125689745892008-06-17T01:00:00.001+08:002008-06-17T02:05:12.606+08:00

As soon as the elevator door closed, I coughed out a big one. Judging from the way it sounded and felt as it shot up through my respiratory tract and settled on my tongue, I could tell that it was at least two tablespoons of pure, viscous, toad-green phlegm, the kind that sticks on the sink and requires a spatula to scrape off.Unfortunately, there was no waste can, no potted plant inside the

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-1787842524712548312008-06-10T00:06:00.002+08:002008-12-09T06:54:48.819+08:00

Got nothing to wear?Try the living room curtain.She forgot to wear her skirtAnd bleach-scrub her groin.This ensemble could workIf you live in Narnia and talk to furry animals."Bring my babies back!"--- an FLDS polygamist mom.Inspired byA wrinkly scrotum.Going for the bloated, premenstrual look.Look closer.Is that... a tucked-in penis?Perfect for a formal occasionIn a mental institution.Attack of

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-49768310656971971222008-06-05T15:05:00.002+08:002008-06-05T15:21:52.043+08:00

Earlier, in preparation for my ordeal, I bathed myself longer than usual, paying extra soapy attention to my hairless genitals. I wanted to be as clean as possible, free from any cheesy smegma that might betray a habit I acquired one summer ago and couldn’t stop doing ever since, no matter how strong my Roman Catholic guilt was; a habit created out of idle curiosity --- does white stuff really

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-44405880450124505572008-05-28T11:49:00.005+08:002008-06-05T15:23:22.236+08:00

“There. I’m done. You can open your eyes now,” he said monotonically, as though reciting bingo numbers. Slowly coming into view as I lifted my eyelids were stars, little glow-in-the-dark ones adhered to the ceiling. But in daylight, they’re virtually invisible. My attention then shifted to the adult presence in my bedroom, sitting at the edge of my bunk, gazing at me, his face oily with

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-2866839976804851232008-04-25T08:55:00.005+08:002008-12-09T06:54:49.347+08:00

"Kuya Bodjie! Ate Sienna! Kain tayo!"--- Kiko MatsingPhoto credit: tastybooze.com

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-36504749383211561772008-04-13T17:35:00.001+08:002008-04-13T20:48:52.572+08:00

Umbrella in hand, I stepped out of a condo lobby and into the swelter of Metro Manila at high noon. It took my eyes a good ten seconds to adjust to the Xerox-flash brilliance of the day and at once I was reminded of what I had forgotten to take with me: my shades, which, at that exact moment, laid fashionably atop a drawer. Without it and with the sun out in full force, everything --- the blue

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-81192765857197308372008-04-10T00:00:00.003+08:002008-12-09T06:54:51.182+08:00

Cute.Not cute.Cute.Not cute.Cute.Not cute.Cute.Not cute.Cute.Boy Abunda.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-2073520311583030302008-04-03T06:49:00.005+08:002008-12-09T06:54:51.422+08:00

Boy Abunda and a toilet bowl.(More anthromorphisms here.)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-47280286982385234402008-03-29T23:55:00.003+08:002008-12-09T06:54:54.808+08:00

Kids, it's that time of the year again. Time to uncover the secret, parenthetical subtitles of a few Filipino films, Misterhubs-style."Ako, Siya o Ikaw?"(Gross. Who Farted?)"Gamitan"(When Gretch Met Tony Boy)"Patikim"(2 Girls, 1 Cup)"Ang Huling Birhen Sa Lupa"(Blowjobs Don't Count, Right?)"Manolo en Michelle Hapi Together"(Until Regine Came)"Linlang"(The Talented Mr. Montano)"Kesong Puti"(I

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-26449577542844831792008-03-25T10:43:00.008+08:002008-04-01T15:09:37.031+08:00

Couldn’t sleep last night. Tossed and turned. Got up. Walked around. Took a pill. Watched TV. Went back to bed. But I just couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was you. And the hurt you’ve caused me. And how much I want you out of my life.I shouldn’t have let you in. That dinner was a complete mistake, the biggest mistake of my life. I shouldn't even have been there. I had a bad feeling on my

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-69274320727359275532008-03-19T01:00:00.005+08:002008-04-06T23:25:52.209+08:00

Once again, here's Valentina Hasan --- Bulgarian Idol, YouTube diva, the Antidote to Sadness, Melody, and Proper Enunciation --- with her inimitable vocal styling of "Ken Lee (Ilibu Dibu Douchoo)", also known in some parts of the world as "Without You."Somewhere, a poor dog howls at the sky.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-77107885688108651532008-03-17T08:20:00.003+08:002008-03-17T20:47:34.187+08:00

His kisses, soft and slow like a thief’s tiptoe, roused me from sleep and into a chilly dawn. I opened my somnolent eyes and saw hubby looking at me, his head propped up by his right arm which was streaked with pillow marks. ‘Good morning,’ he whispered.I echoed his greeting and combed my fingers through his sleep-tossed hair. It was the morning after our first night together at his parents’ rest

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-90307379780553837252008-03-12T00:11:00.002+08:002008-03-12T17:08:14.267+08:00

If I ever hear any of these songs being warbled one more time in a videoke bar, I swear, I’ll Texas chainsaw-massacre everyone in sight. Enough with these over-played songs already, people!1. I’ll Be by Edwin McCain. Want to be “love’s suicide” eh? Here’s a razor, a nylon rope, and a can of Baygon. Prove it.2. I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith. And I don’t want to miss my sanity. And you

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-56238429825383943602008-03-11T11:54:00.003+08:002008-03-11T12:15:22.482+08:00

For all you Mimi fans: a piano-only rendition of Mariah's first single, Touch My Body, off her new album, E=MC2. Enjoy.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-58623108526039819552008-03-06T08:45:00.004+08:002008-03-06T12:06:51.920+08:00

I had a vile dream last night. I dreamed of taking a rusty screwdriver, inserting it inside my urethra (yes, of all things, my urethra), drilling it deeper and deeper until blood gushed out of my penis like a B-movie special effect, painting my room Caronia red.That horror show could only mean one thing: I should immediately get rid of the screwdrivers given to me by Mrs. Neri last Christmas

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-59528749389741211732008-03-02T23:35:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:54:57.591+08:00

As foretold in Chapter Six of the Book of Revelations:"And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth...And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-77780551525419355352008-02-21T11:14:00.004+08:002008-02-21T21:36:18.526+08:00

Hello, Mike? Hey, it's Hubs. What’s up? Hope I didn’t disturb you …… Were you sleeping? …… Oh, so sorry about that …… Um, so how are you? ……… I’m fine. Just got back from school. Anyway, did you get my text last Sunday? I texted you after I got home …… Yeah, I did …… You didn’t get it? …… Ah ok …… I was a little worried when you didn't text back. I thought something happened to you. What about

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-41957490452148429362008-02-20T09:40:00.005+08:002008-02-20T10:52:56.493+08:00

By Loud Cloud (http://verbosecity.blogspot.com)Sour snots, back off. This is not mutual masturbation—this is genuine admiration. Of course I am talking about Misterhubs who is marking his first blogging anniversary tomorrow. So, dear sour snot, do the rest of us a huge favor: go pick up the Jobs/Classifieds section of the Sunday edition of Manila Bulletin, roll it up into a sturdy pipe. You did?

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-85907530483372117862008-02-05T22:32:00.000+08:002008-02-05T23:24:50.197+08:00

I know, I know, this video is as old as time. But every time I watch it, I laugh so hard, my lips tear up like a schoolgirl's hymen after prom night. I'm talking of course about Mad TV's skit of Whitney Houston’s infamous “Crack is Whack” interview with Diane Sawyer.My favorite line --- Whitney: "Unleaded."More Whitney hilarities from YouTube:Whitney Screws Up The ClassicsWhitney Sings The

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-11708391355396571592008-01-31T10:34:00.000+08:002008-01-31T11:12:21.388+08:00

Due to an altercation with an obnoxious in-house counsel, I was in a comprehensively genocidal mood yesterday, giving everyone --- my secretary, my officemates, a crippled beggar, a cute dog with a waggley tail --- attitude that could fry internal organs. Even Hubby wasn’t spared from my heat-seeking temper. Almost everything he said last night elicited a snappy retort from me.Hubby: “I can’t

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-85542240748140805522008-01-29T11:59:00.000+08:002008-01-29T19:35:27.223+08:00

I was applying lip balm on my lips this morning when my reminiscential mind retrieved a memory from my pre-adolescent past that ought not to be retrieved.I was ten years old and had chapped lips. Riffling through my parent’s stuffed medicine cabinet, I found a tube of what I assumed was petroleum jelly. Without perusing the label (a fatal mistake), I squeezed a semi-transparent glob from the tube

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-76203486927405141462008-01-22T21:17:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:00.914+08:00

Who (which) has a cuter face: Judy Ann Santos or an axolotl?(Judy Ann is the one in the left, I think.)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-29864854064500886952008-01-18T09:30:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:01.224+08:00

This was what the towering menu promised: 'Chicken Cordon Blue. A delicious French classic boneless chicken rolled around cheese and ham.'And this was what the waiter delivered..I don't know about you but to me, it looked like the gonads of large beast, drizzled with freshly coughed phlegm and garnished with the three saddest garden pickings in the world, the side dish equivalent of emaciated

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-87750903126865229672008-01-12T13:00:00.000+08:002008-01-12T09:16:17.801+08:00

These wicked prank calls by the irreverent Wanda Sykes (from the tv show, Crank Yankers) crack me up all the time. May they have the same side-splitting effect on you. Happy weekend, people! (Big thanks to the nomad for his technical support!)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-52120031253448330542008-01-09T12:00:00.002+08:002008-05-12T16:49:41.917+08:00

‘So how did you sprain your knee?’ asked Jeff, my physical therapist, as his hairy arms pulled and stretched my left leg like pizza dough. ‘A basketball game?’No Jeff, I wanted to say. You couldn't be more wrong. I don’t play basketball. Matter of fact, I can’t dribble a ball even if someone else's life depended on it. During P.E. class, I was always in the bleachers with the nerds, the loners,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-11182286597880577752008-01-06T23:51:00.000+08:002008-01-07T11:49:08.796+08:00

Currently showing: MAD TV’s straightjacket-funny parody of Whitney Houston, in all her sweaty, coked-out, diva glory, being feted as an MTV Icon. With unbelievable performances from Pink and Bjork. Press play, watch, and laugh your brain matter out.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-87453910343020218612007-12-31T20:10:00.000+08:002007-12-31T20:46:38.338+08:00

December 31, 2007Dearest friends, readers, and occasional link-baiters:I have a brief but very important announcement to melodramatically make. (Cue sad bagpipe music).It pains me terribly, like a herniated disc, to inform you that this is my last post. Yes, you read that right --- my last post.My last post for 2007 that is! Hahahahaha!Happy new year, everyone! See you all in ‘08!Hugs & kisses,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-22754031230017468252007-12-29T14:52:00.000+08:002007-12-30T01:26:17.107+08:00

At some point during our afternoon stroll at the Powerplant mall, hubby and I saw a poster for the Metro Manila Film Festival, that annual showcase of mostly wasted celluloid, hackneyed scripts, and life-scarring performances (see: presidential spawns-turned-actors).'Wanna watch an MMMF movie this year?' I asked him as we passed by the cavernous cinema lobby which smelled of cheese popcorn and

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-75820223763962071122007-12-28T01:00:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:01.667+08:00

Atop a windy promontory I stood, beholding the aqueous December sky and the glassy lake at which the quiescent Taal volcano sleeps, with these niggling questions on my mind…1. What does the future hold for me and hubby?2. Does this pair of Viktor jeans make my butt look big?3. How will Benazir Bhutto’s assassination affect the coming elections in Pakistan?4. Must there always be a Shake, Rattle

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-24577362225981539882007-12-23T19:16:00.001+08:002008-04-16T09:12:22.396+08:00

There are some things in this world I just cannot stand. Ethnic cleansing. Pesky telemarketers. People who cut in lines. Last week I was unnecessarily reminded how much I loath the latter.Friday, 5:47 p.m. It was that time of the day when Metro Manila traffic could be seen from outer space. I had two choices: I could either stew in my car for the next two hours (two eternities, if it rains) or

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-15310953459719503732007-12-13T10:48:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:02.189+08:00

Awww. Kids these days, they start ever so young!Photo credit: 2spare.com

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-72623254335153689182007-12-10T21:21:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:02.718+08:00

One ho-hum morning, we, the Hubbies, took a ferry ride down the virtually odorless Pasig River. Along the way, I took a photo of the postcard-ready Manila Central Post Office and then noticed something unusual in the distant scenery, something the Department of Tourism might not want to highlight in a glossy brochure.Look closer. Can you see it too?By the riverbank, a man defecates.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-24792564936610384652007-11-27T09:40:00.001+08:002008-12-09T06:55:02.868+08:00

Last week, hubby surprised me with a gift, a gallon of Arce Dairy Choco Peanut Ice Cream which, in essence, is ChocNut in ice cream form. “Since you love ChocNut so much, I know you’re going to love this,” he said, stating the obvious to the world’s biggest ChocNut fetishist, me.Diabetics, beware of this ice cream.Sweet as Arce Dairy Choco Peanut Ice Cream is, what’s seven times sweeter is the

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-53023409023319670492007-11-19T21:44:00.000+08:002007-11-19T23:29:29.152+08:00

Tennis fans with SkyCable, rejoice! BALLS (the sports channel, not the round playthings) will be airing the upcoming Roger Federer vs. Pete Sampras exhibition matches on these dates:November 20, 5:00 PM, Seoul, South KoreaNovember 22, 8:00 PM, Kuala Lumpur, MalaysiaNovember 24, 2:00 PM, MacauThese two tennis titans have traded thunderbolts and ground strokes only once during their professional

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-84949371889598401352007-11-12T16:12:00.000+08:002007-11-29T00:06:07.488+08:00

Heard this yesterday from my friend, Dickie:"Aanhin pa ang condom kung pareho naman kayong bottom!?"Indeed.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-69442545863076776262007-11-10T19:35:00.000+08:002007-11-11T11:01:57.639+08:00

I was lying in bed with my legs spread apart like I was about to give birth, maniacally (then later, mechanically) stroking my russet erection. It’s 7:20 p.m. and the room was silent save for the hypnotic whir of an electric fan. Next to me was a fat roll of tissue paper and an opened bottle of cocoa butter body lotion.Unbeknown to me, my mother had just arrived home. If I were to guess what she

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-84714226554716627512007-11-05T00:20:00.001+08:002008-08-23T06:52:55.882+08:00

I logged-in, browsed, selected. I wrote, sent, waited. He responded. I replied. He asked. I gave. He called. I answered.We chatted, acquainted, discussed, reminisced. We flirted, teased, joked, laughed. We fantasized, whispered, moaned. We climaxed, hung up, wiped.He called and suggested. I considered and agreed.I went, looked, waited. He arrived, saw, approached. I grinned. He smiled. We walked,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-2234803616174171672007-11-02T11:07:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:03.420+08:00

While others are luxuriating in some idyllic beach-resort-spa place this long weekend, I'm currently defragmenting files in my laptop using Windows' default Disk Defragmenter program, which, I believe, is powered by crippled nano turtles and, at the rate at it's going, will approximately take three to twenty generations to finish.Kindly defrost my cryogenically-preserved body when defragmentation

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-64547521466090836492007-10-31T00:52:00.000+08:002007-10-31T12:26:31.348+08:00

I felt it --- a vague shiver inside my pocket ---- as I was walking along an empty sidewalk, strewn with urban litter, some time past midnight. I intuited that my worried mother, with curlers on her hair and anti-aging cream on her face, had just sent me a text message asking what time I’ll be back home. But when I checked my cellphone, I saw no new arrivals in my inbox.Strange. Thinking nothing

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-12905782491894740162007-10-28T13:45:00.001+08:002008-12-09T06:55:03.745+08:00

"Simone, I can't hold back my feelings any longer. I must tell you that I... I love you.""Oh Alvin. How long have I waited to hear those words from you. See, I love you too..."Then, as the two little chipmunks held each other in a tight embrace, a speeding monster truck, out of nowhere, drove through both of them, leaving behind one gooey mess.--- The End ---(Moral of the story: Don't stand in

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-71899323836949762272007-10-24T23:45:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:03.933+08:00

The most disturbing thing about this is...(A) That people paid good money to see this;(B) The ensemble (elfin shorts, hooker hosiery, crisscrossed ribbons) in Banana Ketchup Red;(C) Ogie's pencil eraser genitalia;(D) None of the above; it's __________.(Hmm. What if I wear this for our Halloween party?)

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-33929891185927250402007-10-23T00:00:00.000+08:002007-10-23T00:08:31.460+08:00

(Unfamiliar number): Hey. Care 2 chat?Misterhubs: Who’s this?(Unfamiliar number): Gabby. 24 Pasig. NASL?...Misterhubs: Franz. 25 M Makati.Gabby: Cool. Whats up?Misterhubs: Just took a bath. How about you?Gabby: Still in bed. What u wearing?Misterhubs: Only a towel.Gabby: Take it off now.Misterhubs: Why?Gabby: I wanna see you naked.Misterhubs: Really now. :-)Gabby: Yeah…Misterhubs: Then what?Gabby

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-75275999472666670692007-10-17T11:56:00.000+08:002007-10-17T16:09:11.683+08:00

No, I haven’t died, descended into hell and, on the third day, ascended into heaven. I’m still here, breathing, burping, but with a universe of distractions (work, movies, life, etc.) keeping my mind off blogging. But I know, like time, trains, and menstrual pain, this too will pass.By the way, this is officially my 250th post. I dedicate this milestone entry to hubby who’s flying to Bangkok

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-61843336956522141072007-10-04T23:57:00.000+08:002007-10-05T17:44:57.486+08:00

I was hunched over in one corner of the locker room, putting a sock on, when he (late 20s, 6 feet plus, boyish face) stepped out of the shower with a white towel wrapped precariously around his loins. His skin was smooth and opaque like river stones and a thick vein zigzagged down his right bicep like a petrified bolt of lightning.Hallelujah, the all-boys choir in my head sang. Right away, I

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-66780963300988393172007-10-02T22:12:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:08.050+08:00

Look around you. See that ticking wall clock, that crumpled paper, that cement-colored cloud? Stare intently at these and other objects and you may just see a recognizable face. For example... Left: Light fixtures; Right: Homer Simpson Left: Garden path; Right: Tim YapBrought to you by: misterhubs.blogspot.com Left: A stone object; Right: Pong PagongBrought to you by: misterhubs.blogspot.com Left

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-41257814754701929032007-10-01T19:47:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:08.994+08:00

Your face is comely; your body gorgeousNow let us have a look at your penis.(Repeat chant after each photo)Your face is comely; your body gorgeousNow let us have a look at your penis.Your face is comely; your body gorgeousNow let us have a look at your penis.Your face is comely; your body gorgeousNow let us have a look at your penis.Your face is comely; your body gorgeousNow let us have a look at

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-50281292361409190742007-09-30T01:00:00.000+08:002007-09-30T11:50:43.865+08:00

My Thursday morning began with me waking up, feeling like there were a hundred microscopic jack hammers drilling my cranium. Then I found out, in chronological order, that I’ve ran out of headache pills, that the maid had arsoned my breakfast, that the toilet wouldn’t flush my corn-speckled turd, and that my nose was three months pregnant with a pimple.I fled to the office, hoping that my day

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-55705577960541747232007-09-22T08:58:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:10.429+08:00

Unearth below the core-shaking Answer to one of Life's most recondite mysteries --- What if Regine Velasquez and E.T. spawned a secret love child?Lips from mom.Eyes from dad.Nose, 50/50.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-80631628813263135022007-09-19T23:59:00.000+08:002007-09-20T07:02:53.683+08:00

To The Man In The Elevator:“Sorry”, I know, is not a word to be tossed around lightly like garden salad. But when you’re inside an elevator in the company of a living, breathing human being and, intentionally or not, you make firecracker sounds out of your sphincter and let loose from the depths of hell the ghosts of your recent meal, which, according to my keen olfactory senses, had beans,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-42308117273518107792007-09-18T21:11:00.001+08:002008-12-09T06:55:12.118+08:00

The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. The leg splits of Alexei Nemov. These are just some of the reasons why I love watching sports, specifically sportsmen, specifically the bulges of sportsmen, specifically the bulges of sportsmen in their lower extremities, specifically the bulges of sportsmen in their lower extremities when they pop out of their shorts.Which brings us to...Get. That.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-68605682920783517382007-09-17T23:59:00.000+08:002007-09-18T12:15:48.629+08:00

First, there was Iron Man. Then came the Iron Chef. And now, saving the world with his thickset testicles of titanium, here's Iron Penis Man. See IPM and his steel-scrotum sidekicks in training.The next time my car stalls on the highway, you know who I'm gonna call.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-62180952923771129762007-09-15T00:36:00.000+08:002007-09-15T08:59:14.974+08:00

Late afternoon. The sun was bleeding profusely like a punctured egg-yolk. So was my left knee, which I’ve scraped badly after falling off my bike while speeding down the street, trying to overtake Carl. It didn’t really hurt and I could’ve raced my Carl and Bjorn and Janelle and the rest of the Centurions (that’s we call our clique) again but I decided to go home and band-aid the geyser wound

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-78894986370157318542007-09-12T19:11:00.000+08:002007-09-13T12:08:40.878+08:00

A Britney Spears fan of indeterminate gender, channeling his/her inner Meryl Streep, makes an impassioned plea to the cruel, cruel world to "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!!" because "SHE'S A HUMAN!!!" Grab your hankies, folks. This is an absolute tearjerker.My guess is that he/she missed his/her hormone shots for the day.

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-59452692138046356462007-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:002007-09-12T15:12:07.743+08:00

It was a virtual hostage situation. Me, cornered in my office without an escape plan. My client, sitting in front of me, his barong wrinkled like scrotum, with a breath so foul, it makes unflushed public toilet smell like baby powder.“Attorney, I have a problem regarding this lot I just bought in Cavite,” he said and then he went on and on, unwary that his exhales were curling up my nose hairs

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-13030672077587227442007-09-10T01:00:00.000+08:002007-09-10T03:06:50.774+08:00

Dear Hubby,From me to you, back in September 10, 2005:"You don’t know how happy I am na tayo na. I’ll be the best partner I can be. We’ll inspire each other to do many things. I will never leave you. If problems come, let’s face and conquer them together. I love you very much. I’m looking forward to a future with you. I’m forever yours. Sorry if it’s too cheesy but I’m just trying to express what

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-78004622958667593002007-09-06T21:15:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:16.981+08:00

Their faces are a make-up counter; their bloodstream, 65% estrogen; their male genital organs, tucked neatly away like the corners of a bed sheet. And, given the right eye-shadow, head tilt, and dim lights, they could pass off as a local celebrity's more fantabulous sistah. Or maybe not. Be the judge. Left: Geneva Cruz; Right: Ghynnievah Caruso Left: Regine Velazquez; Right: Reigne Velashqiuez

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-76444036664736736152007-09-02T21:59:00.000+08:002007-09-03T10:14:08.482+08:00

*%!@ you, cable TV, you useless ^#$!-sucking mother-*%!@cker!That’s me, five days ago, fists clenched, rabidly cursing the flat screen monitor, who just stood silent and absorbed my abuse like an indicted war criminal. That's after I found out that none of the channels on my cable TV will be showing the US Open. Not ESPN, not Star Sports, not Solar Sports, not the NBA channel. I even rummaged

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-35329728260910160092007-08-29T13:29:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:19.742+08:00

No, this isn’t a list of people who owe me money. These are the names of readers who have left a comment or two in my blog this month of August, thus warming my heart to room temperature. I sincerely thank each and every one of you and if I could perform at least one sexual favor for you right now, I would.CarloQ the ConquerorRuff nurse-du-jourBaklang AJrOckYPisanu for BISEANRed the

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-37821794783803559332007-08-27T20:35:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:19.970+08:00

In the interview portion of Ms. Teen USA 2007, Ms. South Carolina was asked: “Recent polls have shown that a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?”Her answer was 38 seconds of "WTF?" Here, have a look-see.Or (if the video is buggy), read the transcript:Ms. South Carolina: “I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-56439336785853307552007-08-26T23:24:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:20.149+08:00

Saturday, 945 PM. Bone-tired from a day’s worth of mall strolling, bed tussling, DVD watching, and book shopping, hubby and I decided to end our date at a 24-hour McDonalds near my place. He ordered vanilla milkshake while I got a Sarsi float, which, as it turned out, was nothing more than unflavored cough syrup and ice cream.“So how’s the milkshake?” I asked hubby as if I haven’t been drinking

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-83994596597922719682007-08-23T23:09:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:20.291+08:00

Malu Fernandez, the self-proclaimed bitch and everyone's favorite jet-setting, Jo Malone-scented lifestyle columnist, has just resigned from the Manila Standard and People Asia Magazine. Here is her farewell letter, which I've decoded accordingly:I am humbled by the vehement and heated response provoked by my article entitled 'From Boracay to Greece!' which came out in the June 2007 issue of

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-67773074232938034252007-08-21T16:51:00.000+08:002007-08-21T18:58:13.694+08:00

"Hubs, watch this. Sige na, sige na."I transplanted my gaze from page 35 of Jonathan Safran Foer's "Everything Is Illuminated" to hubby, who was sitting across me, eyes glued on his laptop, smiling like a Cheshire cat."Why? What's that?" I said."Basta. Come here, watch this. Bilis."I know my hubby well. From the tone of his voice, I could tell he was watching something macabre and freakish. Like

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-52814244098391483692007-08-20T01:00:00.000+08:002007-08-21T00:24:44.925+08:00

It's been five months since our break-up. Now, I can say: I’m doing much better. And by “doing much better”, I mean no more histrionic cries in the shower, no more vigils by the phone for a call that will never come, no more beating myself up for mistakes, both real or imagined. All that's left is a silent, galactic void within me which I’ve tried to fill with shopping binges, office overtime,

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-5691070690398594242007-08-16T20:46:00.000+08:002007-08-20T23:10:52.448+08:00

Had I known yesterday morning that rainfall of biblical proportions would smite the city, turn streets into rivulets, roads into canals, and an underpass into a sea cave; that traffic would slow down to a creeping inch and at times, millimeters; that I would spend the next five hours in the backseat, gaze at the car window pockmarked with rain drops and stare at a constellation of brake lights

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-595959694427929227.post-28120460524709969242007-08-14T22:39:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:55:20.754+08:00

Chas, a Misterhubs habitué with a lot of spare time, gave me a header this afternoon. No, not that (eyes down) kind of header. That (eyes up) header. A blog header. Me, in a peek-no-boo pose, with titanium blue droplets on the background. Isn't it pretty and almost thirst quenching? Thanks again, Chas, for doing this. (If you have more time to spare, can you move the "Misterhubs" a few

Misterhubshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05418170095144817867noreply@blogger.com16